


This is Getting Weird

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Incest, M/M, Masturbation, Mind Control, Object Penetration, Podfic Welcome, no beta we die like ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-07 21:36:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20982764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Don't fall asleep at a Hargreeves sleepover.





	This is Getting Weird

**Author's Note:**

  * For [findyourfortunefalling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/findyourfortunefalling/gifts).

> Written for the kink meme!

It was all Allison's fault. 

A lot of things were, come to think of it. She got these stupid ideas in her head and decided that she was going to do them. She read too many books with teen girls on the cover and watched too many movies from the eighties. 

Diego didn't know why he let himself get roped into this shit. Maybe he was lonely: it wasn't as if he had anyone else to hang out with, after all. They were all teenagers now, and Dad had lengthened the metaphorical leash. Or maybe the old geezer was just going senile in his old age, either or. 

Regardless, Diego somehow found himself trying to stay awake on a pile of blankets on the floor of Allison's room. He always trained harder than everyone else, and he needed extra rest. That was what he told himself, at any rate. 

His eyes slid shut as Allison and Klaus began to giggle about something, and Ben winced at whatever gory horror thing was happening on screen. 

Diego would never admit it, but it was kind of nice, having them all around him. His family there, close it him. He might have been smiling a bit as he fell asleep, but nobody else had to notice. 

* * *

He had odd dreams - he didn’t remember all the details, except for the fact that at one point there was Allison’s voice, echoing through him like he was in a cave.

_I heard a rumor you like putting stuff up your butt_, and then he was chasing after another terrifying monster in a mask, and somehow his dad was there telling him off that he wasn’t running right. 

He woke up to Mom opening the door and sending them all off to bed. It was… who even knew what time it was. Diego’s whole head felt like it was stuffed full of cotton wool, and his thoughts were sluggish as they passed through his mind. He flopped into his bed, his face in his pillow, and he let his eyes drift shut. His last thought, before he drifted away, was about how weirdly _empty_ he felt. 

* * *

Diego was brushing his teeth the next morning when the idea popped into his head. _I should put that shampoo bottle in my ass_. 

He paused, staring at himself in the mirror. Toothpaste foam was dripping out of the sides of his mouth, and his hair was still tousled. He seemed to be himself. The thought seemed to come from within his own mind. But it was a thought that was so utterly unlike anything else that had ever gone through his head. Where had _that_ come from? 

Diego stared down at his toothbrush. _I should put this toothbrush in my ass._

He rinsed his mouth out hurriedly, washed off his toothbrush, and made his way towards his bedroom. This was fucking weird, but he didn't have time for anything like that. 

* * *

Diego trained all day, and he tried not to think about… well, all of the things that he was thinking. Anything that had any kind of long, tapering was something that he wanted to put in his ass. He saw himself eyeing his father's walking stick, and he felt faintly ill. 

Allison and Luther kept shooting him anxious looks during training. It was giving him the creeps. He was still sluggish and... weird, and he felt like he was craving… _something_. Something he didn't have a name for, except it was making him antsy. He needed to stop eyeing anything vaguely long and tapered - he caught himself looking at the hilts of his knives, and that was not a road he wanted to go down. 

Maybe he was just spending too much time around Klaus or something. 

* * *

Diego liked to masturbate in the shower. 

He liked to masturbate in bed, too, but the solo post mission shower masturbation session was always his favorite kind, with his muscles tender and the adrenaline slowly draining. He was stroking his cock, leaning his forehead against the tile and letting his mind play through all the various images he always played out when he was jerking off. 

_You should finger yourself_, said that same voice in the back of his mind.

Diego paused. That was new. He hadn't ever wanted to finger himself before. He knew that was a thing that people did (god knew Klaus rhapsodized about it often enough), but… still. It had never really occurred to him. 

_I guess I could try_, he thought, his hand tracing back along one of the cheeks of his ass. The gentle stroke of his fingertips was raising goosebumps up his back, and he bit his lip, then sighed as he shifted, leaning against the tile wall. It really was a good thing that he’d found this big empty bathroom - he didn’t have any siblings beating down the door, didn’t have to worry about Mom knocking on the door. Now that they were older, they were allowed more time to themselves.

Possibly further proof that the old man was going senile, but Diego wasn’t going to complain too hard. He wasn’t the only one who’d found this bathroom - he could see one of Allison’s hairbrushes resting on the shelf in the shower. How many of the damn things did Allison _have_, anyway? 

Diego’s fingers brushed the rim of his hole all over again, and he shivered again, a little harder this time. He bit his lip, aware that he was beginning to blush. He… wanted. He didn’t entirely know what it was that he was wanting, but he wanted it. He closed his eyes, and he let his mind wander some more; Allison, with her full breasts and her nipples that sometimes poked out through her shirts. He wanted to take them in his mouth, to see if they tasted as good as he imagined. He wanted to kiss her, wanted to lick along her teeth and nip at her lower lip.

He’d never been kissed before. He wanted it, so badly. 

One of his fingers pressed inside of himself, and it was… odd. He pressed his forehead into the cool tile, the water beating down on his back, and he pressed his whole finger inside of himself. It was the most he’d ever had inside of himself, and he groaned, panting. His cock was hard, and the head was pressed against the tile of the shower stall as well. The little shock of cold made him clench around his fingers, and that was… that was also weird. He was just so _sensitive_ inside, and when he twitched his fingers inside of himself, it made him moan. 

He was dripping so much pre-come, more than he’d ever dripped before. He kept rubbing his fingers inside of himself, and the velvety heat of his own ass was a shock. _What would it be like, to have someone else’s fingers inside of me?_ He tried to imagine that; being able to just put his hands flat on the tile and just have someone use him. Someone to fuck his ass slow, without hurting his wrist like this. He wanted it deeper, he _needed_ it deeper, and he didn’t know why, or how he knew. 

Fuck. 

Diego pulled his fingers out of himself, and he was shaking. There was a bit of a burn as he did it, and even that was… good. Nice. He was immediately aware of just how empty he was now, and he groaned like he was in pain. Okay. He needed something. Something solid, something the right shape, something….

His eye fell on Allison’s hairbrush. 

Hm. 

She would probably kill him, if she ever found out. And was this even a good idea, when he’d never actually put anything other than his own fingers inside of himself This felt risky, as if he was about to do something that was dangerous in a way that he didn’t understand. His cock twitched, though, and the hairbrush was right there. It looked dusty; when was the last time anyone else had used this bathroom? He was holding on to the hairbrush already - it had a rounded handle, and bristles all the way around. He’d never understood that type of hairbrush, but he didn’t really need to. He leaned into the wall, the tile no doubt leaving an indent on his forehead, and he gave a bone rattling sigh. 

He ran the handle of the hairbrush under the water - he remembered Klaus mentioning something about lube at some point, and he couldn’t be fucked to find any right now, he couldn’t be fucked to find anything that would work as lube, because the need to have something inside of himself was beating down on him like the water. 

Diego pressed the rounded tip of the handle, and he squeezed his eyes shut. It was… big, it was bigger than anything he’d ever had inside of himself before. It was more solid, too, and he wasn’t getting that same physical feedback. _What would it feel like, to have a cock inside?_ flashed through his head, and then it wasn’t just a cock, it was Luther’s cock, Luther’s big body pressing him into the tile. He pushed the hairbrush deeper inside of him, clenching around it, and he groaned again. Luther’s cock would be hotter, wouldn’t it? It would be smoother, too. The handle of the hairbrush was all the way inside of him now, and he moved it inside of himself, carefully. 

This was easier on his wrist, at least, and it was fulfilling some bone deep craving that had been gnawing at him all day. He rocked his hips back, forcing the hairbrush to move inside of him. There was still that burning pull, but he was so oversensitive inside that even that was good. He’d been craving this stimulation all day, and now he was getting it. He hadn’t even been realizing he’d been craving it. He twisted the hairbrush, and then he nearly came right there and then. 

The cold tile was warming up, and the hot water was beating down on his head, on his back. It was like static, but in a comforting sort of way. He was enjoying the sensation of being full, of the heat on his skin and the way the air was becoming steamy. It was a perfect moment, and he stroked his cock with one hand and fucked himself with the hairbrush with the other. It was an awkward, clumsy rhythm, and he’d never felt something so amazing in his life. In his mind’s eye, he was being fucked by Luther’s thick cock, he had his face in Allison’s breasts. He kept flickering between the two images, and then it solidified. 

Sandwiched between the two of them, with Allison’s hand on his cock - with Allison’s _pussy_ on his cock - and Luther’s cock plowing into him. Kissing Allison, sucking on her nipples, feeling Luther’s sweaty chest against his equally sweaty back, the wetness of Allison’s pussy, heat of her breath on his face, Luther’s mouth on his neck. He’d never been kissed, never had anyone touch him intimately, but he wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. He twisted the hand around his cock and the dildo inside of him at the same time, and then he was going completely stiff. 

The orgasm that pulsed out of him was more intense than any he’d ever had before. It left him weak kneed, sagging against the floor as he clenched around the handle inside of him, his cock jerking in his fist as it spat come across his knuckles, leaving white streaks across the tile. The pleasure was sweet and hot, like a fish hook at the base of his spine. He sighed, and he rubbed his face with the back of his hand. “Fuck,” he said. “Oh… fuck.” He was still so full, and it felt so _good_. So right.

Almost too right.

“This is getting weird,” Diego mumbled, but not before he grabbed the hairbrush to press against the sweet spot inside of him all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> I sure am getting a lot of usage out of the mind control tag lately, ain't I?


End file.
